Three words laced with deep hurt, betrayal, disbelief.
Three words that blow out the delicate candle of trust.
Three words no woman ever wants as an identity.

But we are not responsible for the actions of those we love. Only for our own.

This is a story of a beautiful friendship that blossomed from the most unlikely circumstances.

When someone chooses to take our trust and our love and use it as a weapon, that tells us more about how broken THEY are. How tortured their heart is. People who use LOVE to lie and hurt others are actually INCAPABLE of loving at all, including themselves.

None of it is ever our fault. We only did what we were supposed to - we trusted fully, we braved vulnerability, we opened our souls and loved unconditionally.

The lie was never ours, but the burden of truth is. So what are we to do with that truth?

Sure, it’s easy to be angry. Livid, even! It’s easy to be a victim. And for a while, you are totally allowed to feel that hurt. You should and must take the time to process the blow, to evaluate your emotional standing, to cry a lot or a little, to wonder how you were so blindsided, to ponder the reasons why someone would lie and cheat, to puzzle over how they would live with those lies and sleep at night, and most of all… to agonize over how SHE must feel - the woman who loved him first, whose trust he disrespected the most.

What is much harder is to RISE ABOVE all that!

To be the woman who stretched her hand to help the other up.
To be the woman who stands for truth, even when it hurts.
To be the woman whose empathy knows no limits.
To be the woman who finds the light in the moment of darkness.
To be the woman who is willing to dare greatly in the face of uncertainty.

And when BOTH women choose to bind over their shared truth, rather than segregate over their perceived insecurities, some serious MAGIC happens.

Brené Brown describes this level of vulnerability as “going into the dark place with the other” as opposed to standing on the edge, looking in and pretending that you are there for them. Only the bravest of souls are truly able to step into another’s shoes. But there is a silver lining in empathy:

“The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows.” – Brené Brown

No part of transcending an awful experience and turning it into something beautiful is ever easy, but it is always worth a try. You may even end up finding a glorious friendship in that twilight.

This is how I came to know this stunning, generous soul – Sierra.

We’ve had a few heart-to-hearts over many-a-tea-cup by now and made the best of our unlikely connection.

Never coalescing over the misery or unfairness of our situation. Never drawing the victim cards, or even bashing the villain. Because being bitter about the past does nothing for your beautiful heart that thrives on letting go.

Instead, we find common ground in CHOOSING compassion and forgiveness for the person who took advantage of our trusts. We choose the joy of our connection over the heaviness of lies and deception. We choose the serendipity of our friendship over our bruised egos.

Remember, we are NOT responsible for the choices and actions of those we love. Only for our own. And Sierra and I choose peace over chaos!

And if this is the way of the universe to teach us a lesson of humbleness and compassion, so be it!

💡Fun Fact:

“Sierra” in Spanish means a mountain range, and as such it connotes “strength and groundedness”. While “Yulia” in Russian is associated with “bright light.” How is that for a powerful alignment of forces?

MORE MAGIC - keep reading!

In September, one of my favorite poets, Atticus came to Portland during his “The Truth About Magic” poetry tour and book release. For those who haven’t heard the story that inspired my travels this year, here is a short fragment of it.

During the event, I picked up an EXTRA copy of his new poetry book and asked him to dedicate it to a stranger. I’ve traveled with this book in my car for nearly 3,000 miles since he signed it, hoping to meet a stranger who is destined to have it.

And today, the answer came to me so organically. It was meant for Sierra all along. Because her beautiful heart deserves to be reminded of the magic it already holds.

And thus, the book has found its new forever home. It will be treasured, no doubt about that!